Good therapist...

“A good therapist is a good technician, an artist, a loving human being, and an individual who
values self-examination about her own motives and behaviour. When I first thought of these
attributes, I put "loving human being" as the first one, in that a loving therapist can concern
herself with others and be of help just by radiating a special kind of warmth which attracts even
mistrustful people. But there's the catch! And this is why I list technique and art ahead of
lovingness when I discuss a therapist rather than a person. To be a loving human being is a
prerequisite for a therapist. However, without solid technique and a certain artistic flair, a
therapist can be engulfed by the problems of her patients, and she can end up crucified or
devoured by their cannibalistic needs when they seek ways to fill a certain emptiness within
themselves.” Fanita English: “What is a Good Therapist” TAJ: April 1997

PROTECTION AND SELF REGULATION

http://www.therapyvideos.co.uk/case-4-protection-pay-per-view.html

Empowering

Therapists who empower their clients maintain the belief that people have the capacity for change and are equipped with the inner resources to do so, even if they never do change. Therapy is based on the belief that people can heal if they want to and if they are able to contribute to their own growth what is sufficient and necessary. Unfortunately, there is a tendency, especially in medical model treatment environments, to view people as fundamentally flawed. When a therapist views a person as flawed or incapable of change, the person is more likely to feel and become flawed. When the therapist is able to see beyond a person's wounds and defenses, the client is more likely to discover his or her true nature. Some people may not be able to overcome their obstacles and heal in this lifetime, but the therapist should not become an additional barrier.


http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/29/10-secrets-your-therapist-wont-tell-you/

punctuatia

pac pac

The Critical Parent is controlling and restrictive and uses words like:

• You must
• You should
• Never
• It is inappropriate to
• That's not how we do things around here

You will find plenty of Parent types in Command and Control type organizations. The Critical Parent (sometimes known as the Controlling Parent) has not only a very negative impact, on communication in the workplace, but more often than not, on performance as well.

A person with a strong Critical Parent, will generally be very rule bound, wants things done his/her way - regardless of the needs of the situation, and often stifles creativity, and 'thinking out of the square' behavior. They tend to be critical, and bossy, in their style, and consequently often not very liked.

A person who frequently uses the Critical Parent style can be challenging to work with ... particularly when he or she finds themselves in a leadership role. They try to 'shape' everyone up to perform and behave in the way they think: 'this is how things should be done around here'.

The Nurturing Parent is helpful and caring and uses words like:

• Let me take care of it for you
• You'll be alright
• I can help you
• Be careful
• Look out for

We Need More Adult - But Not Too Much!

The more you can use your Adult, the better most dealings with others will go, (particularly if there is some 'heat' in the conversation). A word of caution ... If someone uses the Adult all the time, they are a fairly boring person to be around.
The Adult is analytical, fact-based, rational and calm and would say things like:

• What are the alternatives?
• Lets look for causes
• According to the statistics
• If we take a calm, rational approach

You will hear someone in their Natural Child saying things like:

• Let's make sure this is fun
• It's so great to be here at work
• I'm really feeling sad that we didn't achieve our goal

At work you will hear the Rebellious Child say:

• That's a stupid rule anyway. Let's do it this way
• Forget about it, he's just the boss, this is how we do it around here
• Let's knock off for today! It must be beer o'clock somewhere!

cum te raportezi la ALTII?

energy blockage contamination ineffective modes

The red zones all emanate from trauma caused negative karmic mass energy blockage outdated experiences.
Criticizing Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this mode you will believe that others cannot do things as well as you can, or perhaps only some certain chosen people can. If you lead from this position you are unlikely to develop a loyal supportive team or culture.

Over-Indulging / Inconsistent Mode - communicates "You're not OK". When in this mode we often 'rescue' others, that is, do things for them which they are capable of doing for themselves. As a leader we might also be inconsistent in our style - changing our behaviour in unpredictable and apparently random ways.
Compliant / Resistant Mode - expresses an "I'm not OK" or "I'm not OK and You're Not OK" message. When in this mode we over-adapt to others and tend to experience such emotions as depression or unrealistic fear and anxiety. Even when 'resisting' we are not actually free to think for ourselves as we are reacting to someone and believing that we need to 'resist'. When in this mode we are unlikely to make good team members and will be highly stressed if we have to manage others.
Immature Mode - in this mode we run wild with no boundaries. Here we express a "You're not OK" message. At work we tend to not to take responsibility for our actions and are unlikely to progress as we need a great deal of management in order to focus our energy and keep boundaries.