pac pac

The Critical Parent is controlling and restrictive and uses words like:

• You must
• You should
• Never
• It is inappropriate to
• That's not how we do things around here

You will find plenty of Parent types in Command and Control type organizations. The Critical Parent (sometimes known as the Controlling Parent) has not only a very negative impact, on communication in the workplace, but more often than not, on performance as well.

A person with a strong Critical Parent, will generally be very rule bound, wants things done his/her way - regardless of the needs of the situation, and often stifles creativity, and 'thinking out of the square' behavior. They tend to be critical, and bossy, in their style, and consequently often not very liked.

A person who frequently uses the Critical Parent style can be challenging to work with ... particularly when he or she finds themselves in a leadership role. They try to 'shape' everyone up to perform and behave in the way they think: 'this is how things should be done around here'.

The Nurturing Parent is helpful and caring and uses words like:

• Let me take care of it for you
• You'll be alright
• I can help you
• Be careful
• Look out for

We Need More Adult - But Not Too Much!

The more you can use your Adult, the better most dealings with others will go, (particularly if there is some 'heat' in the conversation). A word of caution ... If someone uses the Adult all the time, they are a fairly boring person to be around.
The Adult is analytical, fact-based, rational and calm and would say things like:

• What are the alternatives?
• Lets look for causes
• According to the statistics
• If we take a calm, rational approach

You will hear someone in their Natural Child saying things like:

• Let's make sure this is fun
• It's so great to be here at work
• I'm really feeling sad that we didn't achieve our goal

At work you will hear the Rebellious Child say:

• That's a stupid rule anyway. Let's do it this way
• Forget about it, he's just the boss, this is how we do it around here
• Let's knock off for today! It must be beer o'clock somewhere!